Writing thank-you Notes
You will receive many wedding gifts which means that you will be spending some time writing thank-you notes. It is a good idea to buy the cards for your thank-you notes early and you might want to order them along with your other wedding stationery. Keep a list when you send out your wedding invitations, noting names and addresses and correct spelling. You can then use this list to record the gifts that you receive from the relevant people and it will save you a great deal of time when writing thank-you notes. You can store this information on your computer or, if you prefer, in a folder or binder.
When you open your presents record who gave you what. It is easy for gift tags and cards to become separated from the gifts and it would be time consuming to trace whose gift it was. In an ideal world you would acknowledge every gift immediately, but that is often not possible. You should try to send a thank-you note within two weeks of receiving the gift, if at all possible. If you are really busy it is acceptable to send a thank-you note after the wedding, but you should try to do it no later than three months after the event.
Write your thank-you notes in small batches, otherwise the task can become overwhelming and you are in danger of sounding mechanical or impersonal. It is also a good idea for the bridge and groom to divide the thank-you note writing duties, which should cut the time it takes in half.
Traditional thank-you notes usually come in white or ecru and measure roughly 3.5" by 5". The could be monogrammed or embossed with a motif that was used on your other wedding stationery. If something that formal does not appeal to you there a lots of beautiful thank you notes you can buy or, if you have the time, you could make your own, for a nice personal touch. Another idea is to turn a wedding photo into thank-you cards and some wedding photographers will be able to do this for you.
It is not necessary to write a lot - four or five sentences will be enough, as long as what you do express is sincere. Identify the gift and say why you appreciate it, why it has a personal meaning for you and how you plan to use it. If the giver came to the wedding, especially from a distance, also include a sentence thanking them for attending, along the lines of: 'Thank you for coming to our wedding. Your being there made our day extra special. We love the breakfast bowls and have used them every day. Thank you so much.'
For cash gifts you need not mention the amount, but it's a nice touch to say how you plan to spend the money. ('John and I are putting the money towards furniture for our new patio. We hope you'll come and enjoy a barbecue with us soon.')
You may want to start by writing notes for your favourite gifts first in order to build momentum. However, every giver deserves to receive a sincere expression of your thanks. They did, after all, spend time, money and effort selecting and sending something special for the two of you. It is customary for just one person to sign each thank-you note, mentioning his or her spouse's appreciation, but co-authored notes, signed by bride and groom are also acceptable. You could share the workload by the bride writing thank-you notes to her family members and friends and the groom to his.
The sign-off should reflect your releationship to the recipient. 'Love' is suitable for close friends and family; 'with affection' is slightly less intimate, while 'sincerely' may be most appropriate when writing a thank-you note to someone like a manager at work. You may want to sign off with your full name to business associates and friends of your parents, although trust your instinct: if using your surname feels cold and stiff, leave it out and if your thank-you note sounds overly familiar without it, then include it.
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